What culture says about interracial marriages compared to what religion says?

Interracial marriages within the Pakistani community don’t always go down as smoothly as they should. It often becomes a huge challenge to marry someone who is not the same ethnicity as us. Convincing parents and other family members as well as asking for your relationship to be accepted can feel like walking up a long steep hill, shattering.

Going outside our tight-knit community and finding ourselves more exotic fish in the sea is something that is unbearable to most Pakistani Asian parents. As according to them we should only be able to see a future with an individual who is the same ethnicity as us. Being from a Pakistani community interracial marriage is quite rare. I mean there are a few marriages involving a White British wife and a Pakistani husband but that’s pretty much as all-embracing we get. And yes it does suck. Especially, when the faith I believe in speaks about how we are all equal and is all for interracial marriages.  I personally believe the reason why most Asian parents don’t encourage the idea of getting married outside your own Asian community is because they don’t want to neglect their community values and be shunned by their fellow “friends and family”. I know it sounds slightly bizarre and confusing but that’s the way it just is.

Respect and ‘izzat’ (honour) are hugely important to us, sometimes the opinions of people become more important and influential then the words of the Qu’ran (holy Islamic book).  My faith gives people who follow guidelines in what to look for in a partner when considering to marrying them. For instance, how practising they are is one of the most important.  The woman or man who is looking should focus on this matter more and not just rely on the outward appearances.   Colour, ethnicity and all these qualities should not have to be considered. Islam teaches us that people didn’t choose their ethnicity and the pigmentation of one’s skin were created by the higher Devine and no creation of his is unpleasant. Therefore, no human is ugly looking and all skin colours have their own flawless beauty. Unfortunately instead of Pakistani parents focusing on what their religion teaches them they would rather just focus on society and carry on living to please others. It’s the sad reality but hopefully the people of my generation will not preach these shallow teachings to their children and in effect go onto to creating a more diverse community that doesn’t focus so much on superficial appearances of people. Cue the “you are beautiful” song :”)

 

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5 thoughts on “What culture says about interracial marriages compared to what religion says?

  1. “sometimes the opinions of people become more important and influential then the words of the Qu’ran (holy Islamic book).”

    Sometimes we become so earthly bound, we remove our sense of divinity. And other times we can become so bound to our religion, we lose grasp of our earthly selves. In other words, in the above quote, the book teaches one thing, but we become immersed with our earthly understanding and feelings, that we completely remove what we read via the text. It is an interesting thing when we only focus on the opinions of our neighbors. Very interesting thing indeed

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    1. I couldn’t agree more! we let the creation of the creator become more significant, some more than others. And as good neighbours we should encourage others not to focus so much on our measly opinions, instead we should encourage each other to focus on what our faith teaches us. In this case faith expresses how every race is beautiful and no one is neither below or us or beneath us. Thank you for your comment I appreciate it 🙂

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      1. You are very welcome. We sometimes lose ourselves in the differences we have as a people–racially, spiritually, religiously, gender, etc. We spend so much time focusing on our differences, we begin to lose sight of our similarities. I understand she is from China, you are from Jamaica, and she is from Pakistan, etc. These are just locations and we should not focus on simple things like location. When we pass away, all of these differences that we focus on–they become but a memory. What really matters are the connections we build while we are here.

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      2. It’s a such a shame that well my parents and many others can’t acknowledge what you have just said. However, it is comforting to know that there’s people like yourself, me and infinite others who share the same philosophy and we will hopefully go on to teach our kids these important values and not have to put them through the same frustration we may have been through.

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      3. Our parents and their elders, came from a time that are not as “liberal” as today. LoL. It does not make it right or wrong. Our generation and the ones much younger, are becoming far more accepting of things than the previous would never accept. My parents were raised in an environment where everyone rubbed elbows with one another. They were aware of their differences, but as immigrants trying to build a life for their families in a new country, they were bonded by that commonality. By that point, their differences seemed minuscule. That eventually passed down to us, where we are obviously aware of differences, but do not gauge others on these differences (racial group, ethnicity).

        You are 100 percent correct. When we have children, the goal is to pass this understanding to them as well. We cannot change elders, but we can influence the next generation

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